TikkunGer

Well I’ve been here for almost 2 months now and I’d say things are going extremely well. That’s saying a lot because I?m not a guy who usually transitions into new situations all that great but all things considered I can’t complain. Yes indeed things are going smoother than I could have ever imagined possible. That’s not to say that there haven’t been bumps along the way Just that there have been few and those that did happen have been minor at best.

I managed to finish a summary report for the first part of my thesis project (albeit a couple of weeks late) and that’s taken a huge amount of pressure off of me.

Tamara and I are having a lot of fun and getting along very well in my opinion. We’ve had the opportunity to do a little bit of traveling and spend some time with her parents which has been nice. We’ve also managed to do a pretty good job of keeping off of each other’s toes, which is not always the easiest thing to do with new couples.

Los Angeles is an incredible city and there’s a lot for us to do and to my pleasant surprise there are lots of very cool things to do for little or no cost at all. We’ve been going on a lot of walks and completed our first rural mountain hike.

Jewishly we are doing a lot of socializing which is great for me because my last few months in Ottawa were spent acting like a Jewish hermit. We’ve been attending a few synagogues regularly as part of our “Shul Shopping” and I believe we have pretty much figured out where it is that we will be joining and that?s VBS. Having said that there are a few other places like IKAR and Knesset Israel where I’m sure will be spending a fair amount of time as well but it looks like we will be calling VBS home.

In terms of daily observance I think we?re doing an excellent job of keeping kosher both in and out of the home and that’s something I’m/we are both really proud of. Although (holy crap I just realized I’ve been keeping kosher at home for about a year now, wow time flies) I was initially very reluctant about taking on Kashrut Observance, I absolutely love it as a spiritual discipline and couldn’t imagine giving it up. Having said that, although Tamara is the one who pushed me in to the kosher thing. I think it’s been harder for her to adjust to keeping kosher out of the house than it has been for me but I’ve got to admit she’s really leaned into it and doing extremely well.

Also we have set ourselves up with one of those fancy hand washing cups and have been washing our hands and reciting blessings/prayers in the morning and although it can be difficult to remember what gets done when, I’m finding it very spiritually rewarding. I think we’re both hoping to gradually introduce more and more of this kind of observance into our daily life but we want to do it in a sustainable fashion, without making ourselves feel overloaded. One thing I know Tamara really is attracted to, is reciting blessings at meals, so we’ve started working on that. As of yet we haven’t been all that successful in this department but were making small steps and it’s getting easier.

As for Shabbat were far from being Shomer Shabbos but I think we’ve both come a long way in a short amount of time. Friday nights we try to have arrangements either to eat at someone’s house (preferably walking distance) or have guests over. If nothing is going on then we just keep it simple but do nonetheless light candles do Kiddush and Hamotzi. If we are just staying home I’ve committed to turning off my computer and staying off of the telephone. A lot of this stuff has been initiated by me but I’m trying not to be a bully about it, so I have also done some compromising. For example Friday nights if nothing is going on then we keep open the option of watching an “in the spirit of Shabbat Oneg” DVD and that’s ok. I myself turn off my computer and won’t watch any television other than the DVD if that’s what we’re doing. Ideally I would like to be a little more Shomer Shabbos in this regard but Tamara has made huge compromises so I’m willing to hold back on this one, until she’s ready to go a little deeper, that’s if she’s willing to go a little deeper. As for Saturday’s were doing very good. No television, no computer, no telephone, no movies, no buying, no radio and no car unless it’s driving to shul (which is acceptable according to conservative Halacha, which is our current measuring stick) and then it?s just to and fro with no radio. So that means driving when we go to VBS or Ikar but if it’s Knesset Israel then we walk about 25 minutes. I really do enjoy walking to shul on Saturday morning but both of us prefer the services at VBS so were still working it all out. However besides that we do not get into the car and I must admit I love it.

Also in the spirit of full disclosure and this is something I’m not exactly proud of because it feels like cheating, even though it was my idea. For the summer we’ve set fixed times for beginning and ending Shabbos, so we’re going from 6:30 PM Fridays to 6:30 PM Saturdays. Even though I realize that this is cheating I also realize that we’re doing much more than a lot of other Jews we know. More importantly we realize that our observance isn’t fixed or static and we both have a committed goal of deepening our connection and practice so it doesn’t feel like we’re being lazy. If anything, I guess the way we see it is where learning to crawl before we walk.

Tamara and I are even doing some formal Jewish studying. We’re both registered for something called “Everyday Holiness” which is an intro to Mussar course, something I’m sure I’ll be blogging a lot about in the coming weeks and months. Were also trying to do Saturday Torah study when we attend shul, which I forgot to mention we’ve committed to doing a minimum of twice a month. We’ve actually been going more but we thought we should put in a minimum just in case we get lazy but to be honest I’m the one who has a hard time with Saturday Shabbat services and not Tamara. I’m used to attending a Reform synagogue back home where there’s a lot of English now that everywhere we go have conservative style services I’m having a very hard time. Which although can be painful is good because it’s taught me that I really need to lean into my Hebrew learning a lot more. We are also attending a Thursday night Torah study series at VBS which is sure to be excellent. Then come October we will be doing the UJ Marriage Preparation course which I’ve already blogged about. I was thinking about starting an adult bar mitzvah course offered at VBS in September but I’ve decided that we just have too much going on. I do want to do an adult bar mitzvah but I think I’m going to wait until after we’ve gotten married so that means sometime next year I guess.

Wow, this post has gotten HUGE and although I haven’t managed to get through everything I wanted to, I think I’m going to wrap up here but try to follow up with another post covering our Jewishness for two’ishness probably sometime next week. There are a few other things I want to get to this week both in terms of blogging and real-world stuff.

Anyhow that’s it for now and as always if you were able to make it through this long-winded post please feel free to
s
hare your thoughts and comments because I love to get the feedback.